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It's Just Aphasia She's Going Through
}} Haley is stricken with aphasia. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Elan ◀ ▶ * Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ * Durkon Thundershield ◀ ▶ Transcript It is now daytime. Elan still stands with Haley who is still staring at the single gold piece. Durkon: So, uh... we're just aboot ready ta leave, guys. V an' I just prepared our spells. Elan: Yeah, OK. Elan: Durkon, I'm worried about Haley. She hasn't budged in hours, and if nothing else, I would think she'd have had to go potty by now. Elan: Can you check her out? Durkon examines Haley. Durkon: Well, she not be paralyzed or held or nuthin'. She seems to be in perfect health, except for some fire damage. Haley: Mnbrvcnp! Durkon: Gah!! Haley: Wiup! Rdd is fm, wiup!! F tru'm epdfpjp fm'v rdd wiup! Elan: Haley, I know you have more Bonus Languages than I do, but now's not the time to show them off. Haley: F wim prmpu eh r ynrwiu sin mqrm snprzfu' mnbrvcnp! Haley: F wim jiafmpy ck! Eh r yfvwcvmfuw rtfy-enprmqfuw ynrwiu! Ruy uix fm'v WIUP! Durkon: Elan, hold on a moment. Durkon: Comprehend Languages! Durkon: Och, lad, she not be speakin' any language. I cannae understand a word, even wit' tha magic o' Thor. I think she be havin' some kind o' breakdown aboot tha loot. Haley: Uim MQP diim, AH diim. Afup! Elan: I don't understand. Is she gonna be OK? Durkon: Well, lad, the brain be a funny thing. Durkon: Sometimes, it just stops workin' right when ye've been through a bad scene. Haley: Xrfm, xqh yi F vicuy scuuh? Qpddi? Qpddi? Belkar: Wait, wait, so she can't speak at all? Even if she wants to? Belkar: Hey Haley, if you don't want me to tell Elan how you really feel, just say so. Haley: Xqrm? Ui! Yiu'm hic yrnp! Belkar: Well, OK, since you didn't say anything... Elan, Haley is actually in— Haley kicks Belkar in the face. Haley: Vuprz rmmrtz eiim mi mqp srtp! Belkar: Ooof! Belkar: Objection noted. Haley: Yrnu vmnrfwqm. Durkon: It's just like me granpappy always said: A kick be worth a thousand words. Elan: I'm so confused. D&D Context * Characters with good Intelligence scores can speak some extra languages. * Comprehend Languages is a 1st-level Cleric spell that allows a character to understand all languages, but not speak or write them. * Sneak Attack is a Rogue ability that allows the Rogue to deal additional damage with physical attacks under some circumstances. Trivia * The translation of Haley's lines is: ** Panel 4: Treasure! ** Panel 5: Gone! All of it, gone!! I can't believe it's all gone! I got eaten by a dragon for that freakin' treasure! ** Panel 6: I got vomited up! By a disgusting acid-breathing dragon! And now it's GONE! ** Panel 7: Not THE loot, MY loot. Mine! ** Panel 8: Wait, why do I sound funny? Hello? Hello? ** Panel 10: What? No! Don't you dare! ** Panel 11: Sneak attack boot to the face! ** Panel 12: Damn straight. * The cryptogram used is what's known as a substitution cipher, a historically weak encryption that was superseded by the Vigenère cipher and again by modern cryptography. * There is typo in Haley's cryptogram in Panel 4. "Treasure" should be "Mn'p'''rvcnp", and not "Mn'b'''rvcnp". Note that the same typo appears again in Panel 5. * Haley's disorder is more like dysphasia, which is not aphasia; The former is only a partial impairment of language ability, whereas the latter is a complete loss of language ability. According to the wikipedia article, the two terms are in fact interchangeable. * The title is a variation of the expression "It's just a phase she's going through", which refers to the rebelliousness engendered by puberty, typically attributed to the increase in hormonal production. * Roy and Vaarsuvius have previously indicated that they knew of Haley's feelings for Elan, but this is the first time Belkar lets on that he knows too. * This was during Hollywood's peculiar obsession with "aphasia," including ailments that were not actual aphasia. "Aphasia" showed up in program after program. Like other fads, it disappeared after a few years. External Links * 247}} View the comic * link|282861}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Sneak Attack Category:Weary Travelers Inn and Tavern